The Mysterious Scampi

What the hell is scampi?
Is it a fish caught from the sea?
Is it from the bottom of the ocean?
And what is a lingustine?

What the hell is scampi?
And what’s with the crumbs for skin?
Does it have arms, legs or even some eyes?
what incredibly ugly thing!

What the hell is a scampi?
Does it swim, paddle, or bob along?
Can someone explain a scampi?
Is it a fish or some sort of prawn?

This rolled off my Tongue when me and my mum went for a steak last night! So I remembered it to share with you guys


Sally the Voodoo Doll


Sally was a voodoo doll,
Her skin was made of cloth,
With little tiny puncture holes,
From people who hate a lot.
She was battered and beaten,
And a little bit bruised,
And the pins sticking in her,
Were all the way through.

Sally had a sad face,
And a plastic button for an eye,
With nothing for a tear duct,
So she couldn’t let out a cry.
Her mouth was straight and serious,
And sealed with a rusty pin,
And even though she tried,
It was impossible to grin.

Sally was the kind of doll,
That no one even cared,
They all stabbed her through the heart,
Or bit and ripped and teared.
She carried with her for emergencies,
A needle and some thread,
Incase someone just so happened
To want to rip off her fabric head.

But Sally had a purpose,
Not any other doll did,
for people wanted Sally,
As long as they lived.
For ex boyfriends or the taxman,
Teachers and betraying friends,
Sally was always needed,
For controlling their revenge!

Where Magic Lies…

The angels guard the skies at night,
As the stars they lend their mystic light,
Fairy folk and pixie tribes,
Make our flowers come alive.

The tree their village all unknown,
But to a dreamer all is shown,
Evil spirits banned from here,
for black magic is their biggest fear.

The enchanted dance makes nature smile,
you sit and dream and go a mile,
As racing imps ride dragon flies,
Around the woods where magic lies.

This is from my dusty old red book, I’m unsure when I wrote it but it caught my eye today so I thought I would share it! 🙂

Robot Boy – Tim Burton

A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal. – Big Fish, 2003


The Melancholy Death of Oyster boy – of course I own this book! I’m currently decorating and whilst moving a few things this book fell off my shelf! I read it quite a lot! I admit I am a total Tim Burton fan! I have a shelf of nightmare before Christmas things making me a total nerd! I’m a huge film fan and I love old school Tim, but I enjoy his poetry too. This poem and a couple others inspired me to write Javisnail, after about 3 years of not writing, so I had to make it part of my blog…

Mr. an Mrs. Smith had a wonderful life.
They were a normal, happy husband and wife.
One day they got news that made Mr. Smith glad.
Mrs. Smith would would be a mom
which would make him the dad!
But something was wrong with their bundle of joy.
It wasn’t human at all,
it was a robot boy!
He wasn’t warm and cuddly
and he didn’t have skin.
Instead there was a cold, thin layer of tin.
There were wires and tubes sticking out of his head.
He just lay there and stared,
not living or dead.

The only time he seemed alive at all
was with a long extension cord
plugged into the wall.

Mr. Smith yelled at the doctor,
“What have you done to my boy?
He’s not flesh and blood,
he’s aluminum alloy!”

The doctor said gently,
“What I’m going to say
will sound pretty wild.
But you’re not the father
of this strange looking child.
You see, there still is some question
about the child’s gender,
but we think that its father
is a microwave blender.”

The Smith’s lives were now filled
with misery and strife.
Mrs. Smith hated her husband,
and he hated his wife.
He never forgave her unholy alliance:
a sexual encounter
with a kitchen appliance.

And Robot Boy
grew to be a young man.
Though he was often mistaken
for a garbage can.

The Island of Found Nonsense

So me and Cpsingleon42 had a poem-off, after my story about Curly inspired him to write a great poem (which I have re-blogged for you entertainment) and also we came up with a piece of nonsense together. This is the story of the sabowen and the hermit crab…

They could travel the globe in search of pens,
Because god knows where mine went.
Prob’ly on a little island on its own,
Off the coast of Gwent…

On this island, Is there a cave?
Filled with pens and the odd sock?
Keys and other bits and bobs?
Which other people have lost?

There’s even a bay
Where the lost minds go.
I think ours could be there,
bobbing about on a pedalo.

And perhaps we’ll be cast away,
Out to where Wilson floats
And where marbles and lost patience,
Drift along in sailing boats.

We’ll float with the turtles,
Yearning for rye bread.
And the albatross will tease us
With the thoughts of our bed

And we’ll dream,
Of the normal world,
Of the ordinary and plain,
Til we’re awaken by the crow of the cuckoo bird.

it’ll sit prim and proper,
it’ll tell tales of soup, and
it’ll sing songs of Odysseus
it’ll keep you in in the loop

I’ll light us a fire,
And around it we’d sit,
And I’ll make us an audience,
From coconuts and a stick.

We can give them all names.
One Nutty Anna, one Milky Joe
We’ll eventually go coco-loco,
Like they did on that show.

We’ll sing songs to the stars,
We’ll talk shop to the Moon.
He’ll probably like that,
He’s like us, a loon.

-The original comments can be found on my poem ‘Curly’ I haven’t edited cos I like it how it is!

There’s a Slug in my Head

There’s a slug in my head!
How do I know?
Well you see,
Everything seems to be moving real slow!
It’s all stuffy and icky,
my nose is snotty and sticky,
There is definitely, a slug in my head!

This slug in my head,
It’s at the back of my nose,
And sometimes,
It tickles throat,
It’s not a cold or the flu,
Cos there’s just bogies and goo,
it’s gotta be a slug in my head!

This damn slug in my head,
Is making me sick,
I want it gone,
And quick,
It’s causing congestion,
And disrupting my resting,
I want rid of the slug in my head!

I know, I should be a doctor!… Haha! Wrote this in the last 10 minutes because I am loaded with germs and generally sums up how I’m feeling!… Delightful!